rough start to summer

so the start to the warm weatherd season has had more downs then ups.  my depression is getting worse.. there are some days i dont wanna get up at all or do anything.   i hate being alone in my house on my days off and often spend a good part of the morning crying my eyes out for a good hr or so.  i get upset when no one calls or txts me makes me feellie no one cares. even though i no its not true. i can go from 0-60 with my moods wih the snap of a finger.  going t work everyday helps though i enjoy my job and the people i work with so that helps lessen the crazyness going on inside me:)  sometimes i don't wanna check my facebook  cuz i'm reminded of the stuff i want to do but cant cuz of inability to drive.. i feel really alone sometimes ie theres an empty hole in my chest that just keeps on getting bigger and bigger.  my self esteem is in the shitter right now... emotional pain has got to b the worse pain and it sucks that ltely i've been going through alot of it....  i've been doing some things to keep my mind occupied and thats helping some...my therepist is helping me better deal with these feelings/emotions and helping e to eventually find my own place to live.  i do have things to look fwd 2.  iam going to california in july as well as the gay pride parade at the end of this month... i will say this i have some of the most amazing supportive friends in the world as well as one hell of a best friend.  devin i love u lord knows i wouldnt be able to make it through a day without ure constant calls/txts to offer advice and cheering me up:)  i'm trying to stay positive & happy but sometimes its really really hard.... there are times when i feel like no one understands oreven wants to bother trying.. i know and hope that things will get better soon because i cant take feeling like this for much longer... on the outside  i put on a smile because i'm so hoping that it helps to make the pain go away... i just want to feel happy again....