so i havent written in so long but i apologize.. lots has gone on... i am no longer employed.. i had to leave my job due to chamnging circumstances in my life.. i am in the process of filing for SSD. lets just face it my job was basically dead end and i wasntt making much plus it wasn't a nice place to work anymore and was causing me stress. Ther SSD filing process has been very stressful but i know in the end it will be worth it. i am in the process of relocating to NJ to share a place with my best friend. i honestly feel like he is one of the only people in my life worth any of my time. he has been so supportive during this whole life changing expirence and has been in my corner every step of the way. hee is just amazing and i honestly don't know where i would be without him. Most of my so called "friends" have astopped coming around and dont even bother with me or have made judgements on my situation and what i've done. meanwhile they aren't living my life so they really have no right to judge me for my choices or decsikons. i know what i'm doing is best for me and thats all that really fucking matters. ironically most of my online friends have been super supportive as well. its crazy how i dont really get any support from my local friends but my online friends have been amazing.. crazy how that works out sometimes.. i do have to give props to my friends donna and liz though they have also been supportive.. so basicaly i feel i have 3 true friends donna liz and devin everyone else in my opinion except for my online friends can go fuck themselves...
moving on my dads emotional abuse has gotten worse and its becoming impossible for me to deal with him. that is part of the reason why i am moving...its just a real bad enviornment for me to be in. plus i am looking fwd to a life of independenvce and freedom i've never lived on my own before(well i'll be living with fag) and i am loking fwd to this new "adventure." neither of us have lived on our own and its awesome that we will be doing this together and being supportive of eachother throughout all the new challenges that will arise for us. :)
my mental problems have gotten to the point where i cannot really lead a nortmal life.. my therepist has suggested i be put on meds for my depression/anxiety. it has been super hard for me to even get out of bed in the morning... some people say "snap out of it" but when your dealing with mental issues especially mine its not so easy to do. i'm hoping these meds help... i have to make an appointment for a psy eval to see just what kind of meds will work best for me.
well thats about all for my update feel free to comment :)
